@op you're in no state to be in a relationship. Fix your mess first
U old as hell to be posting the way u do
Just let them be happy. Don't ruin their life so you feel less guilty lol. And yeah get a therapist.
Y'all really have that bad of luck with therapists? 3/4 of mine been great
I never stay with em too long but id always recommend people try it out at least with 2 therapists
And if you have certain conditions you don't have to do CBT, there's other stuff too
Y'all got some fake ass problems if they're resolved by ignoring them and hitting the gym