I have no existential object permanence. I’m sure there’s a less pretentious way to describe it, but that’s what I keep coming back to.

Every time I feel determined to make change and become who I want to be, the next day (or even the same day), I’m questioning why I would even want to be anybody in a world like this anyway. A horrific cycle.

Feel you, I have bipolar disorder with ultradian cycling, and everything feels so fleeting. I struggle to stay focused on any one goal for long, and it's absolutely devastating. It traps me in this constant loop of creating opportunities for myself and destroying everything I've worked for. It's a crazy cycle of hope/progress and collapse.

I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it

I appreciate you relating cuz it does help knowing you’re not completely alone. I wish I could say we’ll see better days but I just damn near broke down in my kitchen about this s*** lol

Nah, I got you, I've hit rock bottom too many times. By now, I've reached a point where it already feels like a success if the intervals between crashes get a little longer. Trying to work from there. It's so exhausting to lose that motivation you had just a few days/hours ago only for the pendulum to swing straight back into depression and bleak nihilism. You start to lose trust in yourself, like goals and plans begin to feel meaningless.

Not big on platitudes either, but I hope you make it out of there 🙏

Inner world is falling apart for me right now.
I am usually numb but the meaninglessness of my life broke thru.

I don’t really want to be anymore.
Just a rough night
Tomorrow the numbness will be back and I can get back to living cutoff from myself ina numb state of nothingness, trapped in my head.

so tired of falling in love with women when its too late for me. i got bigger issues but it just sucks how they bleed into my relationships

Summertime Sadness

Genuinely think I'm going crazy

They still doing shock therapy? Anyone got a groupon for it?

was feeling good lately cause im progressing in my career but it wore off now and im back to feeling lost

i dont recommend getting s***faced drunk alone at home while youre suicidal

had two psychotic episodes this year

ironically after getting sober too

ended up in jail for two months bc of it

not to complain but um yea, life kinda blows tbh

Took a bs gig, a song, and giving a homie an intervention but, after 2 soul crushing months, niggas finding a ray.

ayo life crazy

been thinking of taking my life again

Don’t. We got you if you wanna talk bout it.

Aye man that ain't the answer b. If you ever wanna talk, you can spill it in here, or hit the DMs up.

Sunday is …..
Not my day at all

Hope you all are okay❤️

no

My brain is ripping itself apart daily.

OCD flare up been kicking my ass these past two weeks.

But I am sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts and being self compassionate. Avoiding compulsions as best I can

it is hard to avoid doomerism