I'm the undisputed king of self-sabotage

Damn...I hope all ya'll make it out alright

I'm blessed to be able to have connections in the past but rn I feel like things are going the opposite. Some people come and go. It's hard when those same folks that use to look up to you, don't even want to be around you anymore. It makes you feel like you're the problem The friends and connections are still there but certain moments make you feel like damn where did it all go wrong. How did I f*** up that

Also, I appreciate my parents and what they do for me but everytime they try to help out, they tend to make the situation worse than before. It makes me feel annoyed and frustrated with them. They'll often have unsolicited advice and at times use "honesty" as an effort to make me uncomfortable. At times, have even doubted my passion for art by saying "we're not artists" which I find mentally exhausting when they make efforts support to me. It doesn't come off as authentic if you keep doubting my creativity and questioning if my passion is for me. I know it's for me, that's why I'm doing it. I really want to leave their house and not look back when I obtain financial stability. They can be mentally draining and when you explain it to them, they'll complain and go off about how plenty of other people have it worse than me. Which I understand but we discussing how we can improve something that they have failed to do for years. It's worse when they have no experience or knowledge of the type of passion/dream career that I want to delve myself into.

It's apart of the reason why I feel trapped rn. Sorry for the rant but it's sad that when I finally open myself, it comes off as me being ungrateful and unappreciative.

Depression really be beating my ass

the amount of regrets you accumulate as you age is just so draining

I’m too attached for my own good and I can’t get myself to ask things because I don’t want them to leave me

I’m just like a dog man

I suffer with immense self guilt every single day & it’s getting to the point of exhaustion

I purchased a self compassion book & it has done wonders with the exercises

S*** has been so discombobulating 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Not even sad/depressed but good god this recent events have left me confused.

now i might have lost my f***ing job why is it always one thing after another

i have (maybe had) a great job too and now i might have to fight for a f***ing job in this crazy market. i hope i don’t have to go back to retail or something. those jobs are so hard and strenuous for little to no pay

i’m near guaranteed to be taking a pay cut too no matter what

gotta wait almost two weeks to even find out if i have lost my job or not. and idk if i should start applying preemptively or what

f*** man this s*** is so stressful

life

grief and s* ideation hits like a b**** man like i don't plan to do anything but it's all i find myself thinking about at times

wish you the best man

This temporary feeling

Jack turned in to straight water .

thanks fam

It will all turn out ok man, keep the faith & keep pushing keep us posted on what happens with the current job, like you said they may not even get rid you man. You never know, and even if they do, you will find another job man. Any company would be like to you. Hang in there!!!

we gonna be okay

Im exhausted as hell today

thank you fam really appreciate it hoping for better days

Insano thread

ive made a huge mistake. i feel very sad.

I been going solo now

need to see a doctor so i can get a zoloft prescription since im running low on my three month supply but i dont feel like it

might just taper off it myself tbh