doing my first ketamine treatment session tomorrow

i hope it works and tbh im just excited to try the d***

sometimes i think ihave a problem but i just relax and breath and deal with it but it keeps coming back like sometimes its the only thing i think about and its funny how it changes my mood and feelings dam man funny how strong the mind is and how it controls you if you let it

life is a kaleidoscope of emotions

i hate being bipolar.. ITS F***ING AWESOME!

as soon as im feeling like im over the hump, life comes around the corner sucker punching me out of my perfect world.

gonna take a hiatus from uni. haven't told my parents yet. so damn tired of all this s***.

I haven't been posting in here much but will do so mor.

Recently dropped a medication (Luvox) got put on Trazadone to help with sleep. The only problem is it's in direct opposition to the Prazosin I take. I take that for nightmares/PTSD but the Trazadone is making me dream some of the craziest s*** ever. To the point i'm sleeping with my bible in my arms to combat it. (regardless if you're a spiritual person or not understand with my faith system it genuinely helps me) im also just finding myself in a weird place with anxiety and paranoia. Idk. Everything is just weird right now. I've been worse off, but this is just the weirdest i've felt with my mental health journey not in a good way.

I literally wake up screming in the middle of the night and I know it's scaring people😂😂

Im not even gonna do the fake happy s*** today

lol ight

irritable as s*** lately, niggas is being weird to me

that money came and went

I'm killing myself again soon. this will attempt god knows how many, like 5 or 6. I'm high while I write this btw

Today I cried for the first time in years and the other person is just having their normal day as usual. I hate human nature and I f***ing hate myself

I'm not meant to live in this society

Didn't take enough lorazepam should've took more

3rd week of Zoloft and while I think it’s working (I still have emotions but neither extreme happiness nor sadness, I feel like I have more mental “room” to do things like working and studying), my sleep schedule is absolutely annihilated and it sucks. Hoping it will fix itself over time. S***drive is not as high but it’s still there so I hope that stays.

Someone is trying to ruin my life and there’s nothing I can do about it
Please just f***ing leave me alone, I’m going to be driven to ending it

F***ed my life up

So over this s***

I don’t know how I’m supposed to be happy or some s*** lmao

Just leave me alone and let me wallow. Ofc if I could go back and not f*** up i would

hi I'm new to this thread. been depressed most of my life and i guess my version of it is that i get lazy and quit before i even start because failure is kinda just a forgone conclusion. sometimes its seasonal and sometimes i just don't feel it as much but its always kinda there.

recently i actually started doing s*** about it, like therapy, but in turn its made me face it head on and i fell into like a pit of sadness it was really bad. it hasn't been this bad since high school.
i got put on ssri, lex didn't do anything for me so now I'm trying zoloft (literally first day of z)

do you guys think its all in your head sometimes and that your over think it to much?

could agree