Dec 11, 2020·1 reply
Champion HolleIt’s strange how often you can just find people in the same situation. I had a GF recently who was an absolute gem a beautiful soul. We got along splendid and honestly if we kept going I could have seen us turning into something special.
But my god this previous girl, the only one I’ve ever actually loved has such a pull on me. And it doesn’t even make sense, there are so many signs that point to us not being able to work. But I can’t help but think about her everyday. I want her more than anything in my life. If it was an option of cure my disease, thus extending my life expectancy or choosing her, I’d always pick her.
Had to leave the girl who was the best thing that ever happened to me cause i knew i didn't deserve her. She's now happy in a relationship and i've been alone for almost 3 years
Gojira 🦖Dec 11, 2020·1 replyI said, "Baby, don't worry, I'm way too numb to apologize"
And we both feel sorry sometimes, it's okay to feel sorry sometimes
And my momma told me keep distance 'cause all you do is wreck my mind
And we both feel sorry sometimes, it's okay to feel sorry sometimes
OPDec 11, 2020·1 replyslyTendenciesHad to leave the girl who was the best thing that ever happened to me cause i knew i didn't deserve her. She's now happy in a relationship and i've been alone for almost 3 years
ive been feeling like this is where my realtionship his headed if i keep living in brazil :(
- OPDec 11, 2020
AssmanActually meet someone from work, I've known her for a bit but we always got along well and asked her out. Went out a few times and went great , bit we had a big age gap of 10 years.. We both knew and it was an issue with her, even with me I knew it was a large gap. plus I knew her family and we weren't sure they would be okay with it. I didn't want to get in between them which could cause issues.. So it's not gonna work. It f***in hurt to be honest, and I actually told my mum what I've been going through for the last 10 years. Which is loneliness and other issues, I'm pretty private but last night I just opened up to her. My mum has always been good with these things, always open and accepting and wanting to help, but I'm pretty private and reserved, so I'm like a tight shell. Cried a lot in front of her, crying a bit now due to writing this. Even told her about suicide which I couldn't believe I said to her, I'm not gonna do it though, no way I want her to find me, plus I can't do it because there's so much s*** I wanna do. At least Im studying at uni and my job which I enjoy
So I got something going right for me. Jusy need friends.. Thats pretty much it. Just the simple things I need and want.Got 6 weeks off next week from work and no plans at all which hurts, so my sister is trying adjust her plans to invite me to go to western Australia and camp, with her boyfriend. I feel like s*** and that I'm tagging along, bit my mum and her don't see it that way. She invited me to new years also which is nice.. I gotta stop writing because I'm close to crying again...well I am. And I'm suppose to be at work soon..
Hopefully I meet someone soon cause f***.. I need love, affection and someone to be with. It's been so long it hurts
Thanks for anyone who read the whole post.
go for the trip fam, they just wanna get you into a good space and help you forget about some of your troubles for a short period.
- OPDec 11, 2020rustcohlestan
today was my 25th birthday and this just might be the most depressing birthday ive ever had. so many things didn’t go right today and my depression is hitting me worst than its hit me in a long time. i thought my life would be far different than it is right now. i really thought i would “make it” as an artist at this point. boy was i f***ing wrong man lol. at 25 im broke, working a s***ty data entry job, living in a place i don’t wanna be in, and feeling hopeless and wanting to die. i f***ing hate life man. only like two people wished me a happy birthday and that’s just pathetic lol. i really should’ve ended my s*** two years ago
Happy belated brother! when we get back to semi normal next year, you gonna have a banger of a birthday!
- Dec 11, 2020
thank y’all for the birthday wishes fr. i appreciate all of y’all
Dec 11, 2020SeanLaurentParisYeah so I spoke to my doctor.
She was great, I was in there for close to an hour..
Basically I've been referred for a psych eval..
She didn't say outright (she can't) but since I brought up Bipolar and ADHD she said -
ADHD - "I don't think so, you can have all the symptoms but they can be best explained by a different diagnosis"
Then I said how I was worried that it could be something worse, she straight up asked if I was talking about Bipolar disorder.
I said yeah but that I obviously wouldn't know and that's why I came to see her.She said that she was querying that, that's what was playing in the back of her head as I was talking and as she was reading through my file.. Then she said she put me forward for a psych evaluation and took bloods to rule out other s*** like thyroid.
2020s been wild.
I got diagnosed with bipolar about 3 years ago. The med journey was tough. Took about 3 meds to find the right mix. Its not a death sentence if thats what it is. You just have to be super conscious of your mental state and your triggers when going through treatment.
Dec 11, 2020AssmanActually meet someone from work, I've known her for a bit but we always got along well and asked her out. Went out a few times and went great , bit we had a big age gap of 10 years.. We both knew and it was an issue with her, even with me I knew it was a large gap. plus I knew her family and we weren't sure they would be okay with it. I didn't want to get in between them which could cause issues.. So it's not gonna work. It f***in hurt to be honest, and I actually told my mum what I've been going through for the last 10 years. Which is loneliness and other issues, I'm pretty private but last night I just opened up to her. My mum has always been good with these things, always open and accepting and wanting to help, but I'm pretty private and reserved, so I'm like a tight shell. Cried a lot in front of her, crying a bit now due to writing this. Even told her about suicide which I couldn't believe I said to her, I'm not gonna do it though, no way I want her to find me, plus I can't do it because there's so much s*** I wanna do. At least Im studying at uni and my job which I enjoy
So I got something going right for me. Jusy need friends.. Thats pretty much it. Just the simple things I need and want.Got 6 weeks off next week from work and no plans at all which hurts, so my sister is trying adjust her plans to invite me to go to western Australia and camp, with her boyfriend. I feel like s*** and that I'm tagging along, bit my mum and her don't see it that way. She invited me to new years also which is nice.. I gotta stop writing because I'm close to crying again...well I am. And I'm suppose to be at work soon..
Hopefully I meet someone soon cause f***.. I need love, affection and someone to be with. It's been so long it hurts
Thanks for anyone who read the whole post.
It sounds like you’re making good decisions despite what you’re going through, and that’s the important thing. Opening up is really positive.
- Dec 11, 2020dotM
ive been feeling like this is where my realtionship his headed if i keep living in brazil :(
Wait you doing the long distance thing?
- OPDec 11, 2020
Long story..
She’s Brazilian and I’m American...she has a terminal Ill family member, so I moved to Brazil not to do the king distance
- Dec 11, 2020rustcohlestan
who else is gonna cry and listen to MOTM3 tonight
Happy Birthday Bud..Whenever It Was 🎂
- Dec 11, 2020·1 reply
CRACKASTEPPAVEGANI was thinking about trying ketamine the other day. Won't that drastically improve moods and s***?
idk anything about ketamine except for it being a horse tranqualizer i wouldn't do it without the help of a proffesional you can get stuck in a k hole for life apparently
- Dec 11, 2020·1 replyGojira
ive been on a weed break for ten days but i just wanna be high
i wanna get away from this feeling
i'm on day no.8 i'm trying to make a whole month because they say that's a master reset for tolerance
hang in there dude even if you got to b sad for a little while it's worth it in the long-term.
- Dec 11, 2020Drogon
idk anything about ketamine except for it being a horse tranqualizer i wouldn't do it without the help of a proffesional you can get stuck in a k hole for life apparently
- Gojira 🦖Dec 11, 2020Drogon
i'm on day no.8 i'm trying to make a whole month because they say that's a master reset for tolerance
hang in there dude even if you got to b sad for a little while it's worth it in the long-term.
thank you g 
Dec 11, 2020feeling like everyone hates me and i can't even bring myself to talk directly to one person 😹😹😹😹😹😹
- Dec 11, 2020
Gym was pretty lit might go back tomorrow the owner was friendly asf too makes it better that your money is going to somewhere worthwhile.
- Dec 11, 2020
Please come back
Dec 11, 2020The sad days will never stop. I honestly don’t remember the last time i felt happiness
Dec 11, 2020·1 replyNot having anyone to speak to never was this tough before but hey life could be worse
- Dec 11, 2020Gojira
I said, "Baby, don't worry, I'm way too numb to apologize"
And we both feel sorry sometimes, it's okay to feel sorry sometimes
And my momma told me keep distance 'cause all you do is wreck my mind
And we both feel sorry sometimes, it's okay to feel sorry sometimesThat song is so good
- Dec 11, 2020·1 reply
I H A T E L O S I N G
- Dec 11, 2020aLIEN
I H A T E L O S I N G
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