When no one else is in the house, for example, I wander about mumbling and behaving as I never would in company. Then again, when I undress for bed, I allow my boxer shorts to drop to the floor and flick them up with my foot to catch them one-handed over my head. Who else behaves differently when alone?

Literally everyone bro we all have quirks like that

I slap my own ass

When no one ain't around (I feel it's fadin')
I think I think too much (I feel it's fadin')
Ain't nobody watchin' (I feel it's fadin')
I just fade away

my son

if y'all acted the same in public as y'all did alone, we'd be seeing mass arrests for public masturbation

OP discovers society

mf sounds like the himym episode when ted lived alone and got naked to drink a soup

this second part is exactly how i am with the ladies no cap