shaleirose

2mo

Even Taylor Swift couldn't do it man. If you drop two albums that quickly, people will always care about the second one less, that's just how it goes

Flynn

2mo

You r so full of s*** dog

Elemental

2mo

shoutout @Kr0niic and AK

Elemental

2mo

I was about…
Man, I thought about it

FloridaKeys99

2mo

Drake raps about suicidal ideation

Survival was a TRIP on first listen when I heard that :(

FloridaKeys99

2mo

Drake raps about suicidal ideation

Survival was a TRIP on first listen when I heard that :(

K DOG 99

2mo

Never thoughts of suicide I am too alive

businessinsider

2mo

Yeah (yeah)

Flynn

2mo

Future did it

shaleirose

2mo

HNDRXX sold less than FUTURE first week and has 1.3 billion less streams than it

Yazzy

2mo

That’s right Wayne better

Clubparadice56

2mo

CLASSIC IM AFRAID

PALESTINE DATTEN

2mo

Don't forget a zionist mandated future feature. after 50 songs together we need another one.

Flynn

2mo

Future ain’t Drake either

shaleirose

2mo

My point is that the GP wouldn't care about which album was UMG and which was independent, it's more likely that the first album would be flocked to more, and in this case the first album would be the UMG album. I can't imagine Drake willingly cannibalizing the performance of his first independently-released album

Flynn

2mo

Just know, the whole industry is going to look different on the 15th!

Salaryman

2mo

to the drake sxn,

by the time you read this, i will have officially logged off this mortal coil.

i tried to be strong.

i tried to be patient.

i tried to tell myself “bro he literally said may 15, what are you panicking for?”

but after refreshing the ICEMAN thread 900 times a day, watching grown men decode frozen water like the f***ing zodiac killer, and seeing the word “tonight” posted every 11 minutes by a terminally online weirdo with a papiconda avi, i simply cannot continue.

i am tired.

tired of “stay alert.”

tired of “episode soon.”

tired of “there’s more in the ice blocks.”

tired of akademiks tweeting like a drunk riddler at 3:47 AM.

tired of people saying “we won” because Drake posted a blurry picture of a hallway, a glass of Virginia Black, and one singular blue emoji.

we did not win.

we are in hell.

every morning i wake up, brush my teeth, open KTT2, and immediately see ICEMAN40 posting like he has classified CIA documents from inside the embassy.

“something is happening.”

nothing is happening.

“he’s moving.”

where?

to the fridge?

“episode 4 tonight.”

bro the only episode happening is me having a psychotic break in real time.

deep pockets will post “what was his avy” and suddenly 17 pages of the thread are dedicated to whether some random insider changed his profile picture from a snowflake to a wolf.

TommyCampos will calmly explain that the rollout actually makes perfect sense if you understand Aubrey’s long term artistic vision, and then 4 posts later somebody named Kendrick Won will quote him with “cope.”

NoFace will come in like “it really aint a drake album thread without all the side arguments fr” while the side argument is 6 people debating whether Yachty or fakemink has more aura in 2026.
doot doot posts one sentence and the thread moves 3 pages.

PALESTINE DATTEN says “what’s the worry” like i am not actively fighting demons because Drake projected a date onto ice and then disappeared like Batman.

Unforgivable says “you’ll find out in exactly 4 hrs” and i sit there with my hands folded like a Make-A-Wish child waiting for a kidney.

four hours pass.

nothing.

not a single.

not a tracklist.

not a cover.

not even a bullshit merch hoodie that says FREEZE THE WORLD in font size 96.
just silence.

then some idiot posts “yall think he waiting for the weeknd tour to finish?”

bro i am waiting for my LIFE to finish.

you people told me “spring is his season.”

then you told me “summer is his season.”

then you told me “nah this is winter music.”

brother we are in may.

i have seen four seasons pass inside one album thread.

i have watched men age.

i have watched posters enter the thread as Drake fans and leave as full-time Neo-nazis planning the fourth reich.

someone said ICEMAN stands for “I Can’t Even Make Another Night” and i genuinely had to sit down because that was the first piece of rollout a***ysis that sounded accurate.

because i can’t.

i can’t even make another night.

not after the ice block s***.

not after “more soon.”

not after 516 pages of people pretending a black screen on Drake’s story means he’s entering his villain arc.

not after watching the Drake sxn convince itself that a Chubbs like, a Boi-1da repost, and 40 being seen near a keyboard means the album is being mixed live as we speak.

40 could post a picture of soup and somebody would say “warm tones on the way.”

Oliver could post a chair and somebody would say “album seating arrangement confirmed.”

Insiderhub could tweet “Drake soon?” and the entire thread would start moving like 9/11 just happened.

and i participated.

i am ashamed.

i posted “TONIGHT” with chest.

i posted “we won” before midnight.

i said “this feels different.”

it did not feel different.

it felt exactly the same as every other friday where i stayed up until 12:03 AM just to get a f***ing Lil Baby single and depression.

i defended the boy through everything.

i defended Scorpion.

i defended Certified Lover Boy.

i defended Honestly, Nevermind to people with jobs.

i told real human beings “Falling Back is fire if you get it.”

i argued that FATD was overhated.

i pretended the beef was part of a larger psychological rollout because i am mentally unwell.

i watched my goat post vacation pics, Stake ads, cryptic captions, and gym selfies while the thread was eating itself alive like a crashed plane in the Andes.

all i wanted was music.

instead, i got page 5800.
i got “MAY 15.”

i got “episode 4.”

i got “stay alert.”

i got grown men doing numerology on ice.

please do not mourn me.

do not make a thread titled “RIP to a real one.”

do not let somebody with a Kendrick avi post “damn Drake fans really dying for mid.”

do not let the music sxn turn my passing into a 28-page debate about whether Take Care aged better than Blonde.

do not let any mysterious music poster say “lowkey this is performance art.”

and for the love of god, do not let anyone say “this rollout was genius” when the album finally drops.

because if ICEMAN releases after i’m gone and you all start pretending this was some masterclass in patience, i will haunt every single one of you.

i will appear in the thread at midnight as a greyed-out banned account and quote every “soon” post with “fuck you.”

bury me in the CLB heart haircut.

put an owl on my tombstone.

play Jungle at the funeral, but skip the part where somebody says “this should’ve been on Views” because i don’t want side arguments at my memorial.

tell my mother i loved her.

tell my girl i’m sorry.

tell Drake he won.

and tell the ICEMAN thread…

i’ll see you warriors on page 6000.
signed,

a broken soldier of the Drake sxn

refreshing one last time