I’m in extreme pain

I want to kill myself so bad

haunted and lost

Life post childhood is miserable

Damn do you think it’s something that’s like mental? Like something that seemed out of your control?

I do this everyday 3 pages in the morning and journaling down the day

I’m starting to think it’s definitely all in my head. My mind is just so used to being high, that it’s getting super anxious and nervous about being sober in the real world. I read about people online with similar dissociative intense anxiety feelings after a weed induced panic attack, so that lowers my worries and assures me I shouldn’t waste money getting checked out for them to say nothing is wrong with me.

I just need to spend more time away from the screen, get back to eating healthy, live sober again in the real world, and my nervous system will re adjust.

i said i didnt wanna be lonely but idk if this is what i meant

where tf is my life headed

in in a dead end job
in a relationship with someone i dont even know if i like who deserves better than me
broke
no whip
no friends
pursuing an art major cause its the only thing im good at

do you get heart populations when you smoke weed ?and feel anxious ? do you also smoke weed before going to bed? i know someone who does this so they dont have to take pills to sleep

theres no way out

hope i can get this high again one day

Nobody gives a f*** about you, they just want you to be another piece of the function. Functioning?! He must be doing good!!! Oh he’s not functioning so well, knock some sense into him!!!!! F*** all of this s***.

Gonna no call no show my job and get high the whole day

if you want to never be able to get high again without having a panic attack, be my guest

those were the best highs tho when i was tweaking out my mind

same, but I was going too hard, too often and it f***ed me over. Now I can't smoke again. everything in moderation i guess. if you trip all the time, your life will just be... a trip

true

loneliness really be getting to me

going fast on a dark highway listening to hold my liquor very angry i kinda wish i crashed and died there tbh

very angry and sad!