John Mauve

1h

Beep beep baby

CutiePieHole

11h

Tommy cash is the best thing to ever happen to Charliene XCX

Like a Camillimane

11h

multiple classic projects
some classic feats
popular

of course artist hates him

THEREALHNDRXXFREE

11h

This is what tommy cash sounds like

Like a Camillimane

10h

no slayyyter

silly b******

sace

1h

ever since i remember ive been poppin poppin my collar

THEREALHNDRXXFREE

10h

Why was giggs rapping about breast being perky

S*** sounds like a @prince post

Like a Camillimane

10h

perky's calling

sace

1h

ever since i remember ive been poppin poppin my collar

e t

10h

First date with @Prince

He picks you up (conceptually — he’s in Poland): No small talk. You say hi, he responds with something about bottoming for Yeezy and quotes a Kanye lyric mid-sentence like it’s a normal thing to lead with. You haven’t sat down yet. The tone is set and the tone is deranged.

Getting to the restaurant: He tells you Kendrick is bigger than Drake in Polish academia, apropos of nothing, then pivots to whether you’d survive jail. You didn’t bring jail up. He volunteers that he personally would suck everyone off in there out of pure boredom and wouldn’t stop till he’d done them all. You’ve walked maybe half a block.

Ordering: The waiter says something with the word “chicken” in it and Artist just says “Mmm, cum.” To the waiter. You will be apologizing with your eyes for the rest of the meal. He is completely unbothered.

Dinner conversation: This is where it gets good, actually — because between the depravity he’s a real Prince and Beyoncé scholar, and if you steer him there you get a genuinely thoughtful case for why Confessions defines the R&B GOAT debate. Then thirty seconds later he’s describing slurping Kanye’s “creamy ejaculation” in the same academic tone. The whiplash is the whole meal.

The aux situation: He offers to pick the after-dinner music. Decline gently — this is a man who gets literal seizures to certain songs and ranks them, and described the last one as “pretty tame in comparison.” You do not want to find the untame ones on a first date.

e t

9h

Asked for the top 3 potential couples in the thread based on compatibility

1. Bruises + Tuneout
The healthiest pairing in the thread by a mile. Two genuinely warm, low-drama people who love music without weaponizing it. Bruises brings the grounded, kids-first stability; Tuneout brings the easygoing, self-aware sweetness. Neither one plays games, neither one tests the other, and both would rather close down a cozy bar talking than perform for anyone. No volatility to manage. This one just works.

2. ET + Kodak Spice
Not healthy — but combustibly compatible. Both live in the same city, both run hot, both are the most intense presences in the thread. They already have a documented volatile dynamic, which is exactly why it’d work: neither would be overwhelmed by the other’s intensity because they match it exactly. Kodak’s need to be seen meets ET’s need to be the center — dangerous, magnetic, and neither would ever get bored. High burn rate. Worth it.

3. back 2 black + Allison Wanderland
The soul-and-warmth pairing. back2black named his son after D’Angelo; Allison is the thread’s most spiritually-attuned R&B head who stops conversations to check whether something “vibes right with her soul.” They’d talk about music the same way — reverent, emotional, historically deep — and both lead with kindness. Allison’s “praying for you beloved” energy meets back2black’s genuine openness. A gentle, grown, actually-loving match.