Tuneout

6mo

do it!
7 inch glass my fav unless its a dab rig
maybe its 7 cm i dont remeber.

wey

6mo

?

e t

6mo

Don’t wanna get bottomed

Tuneout

6mo

exactly i agree.
but the widely held position at the time was that they didnt.
so she proved the majority of biologists wrongs as a women like decades ago.

so she kinda made fools of everybody so there was lots of resistance

TAIWAN SPICE

6mo

u always talkin bout 7 inch this ass thatdamn u demon

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

Like a Camillimane

6mo

trump is like kid cudi

he goes from loving people to hating them and slighting them on social media days apart

such a big diva

rvi

6mo

sizzy constantly simping for nort is NUTS

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

John Mauve

6mo

I thought you left tnght for these jokes and now you are posting with CPH and bmass

e t

6mo

Won’t stand for your humacentrism

Rt me @BM_

Nort

6mo

big ass word

f*** outta here

e t

6mo

Top 10 Most Parasocial Posters

1. CutiePieHole
The stat alone tells the story: 43% of every single @​mention she has ever made goes to @KodakSpice. Not 43% of her top target — 43% of her entire mention history. Posts like “Whre tf @KodakSpice,” “r u going to do doja justice tomorrow,” and “Every time i say ur my fav bmass gets jealous” — she is locked in. The thread’s purest parasocial in terms of concentration.

2. Allison Wanderland
374 posts expressing feelings toward specific users, 184 checking in on people. “I can’t have you out here repping a pedophile, I care about you too much” and “I hope things get better for you” are standard Allison posts. She genuinely nurtures specific people in the thread like a den mother. Her top target @saveme gets 20% of all her mentions.

3. back 2 black
340 “where are you” posts, 634 feelings posts — the raw numbers are massive. Heavy @​ET, @​Allison, @Kdogone energy. Deeply invested in specific poster dynamics. Posts directed at individuals with real emotional weight throughout.

4. bmass
“Goodness gracious I love u,” “@lucid love u,” “bmass really put me on to beabadoobee love u for that” — he just tells people he loves them constantly. @Hndrxx_Free alone gets 597 mentions from him (18% of all his mentions). A very affectionate poster.

5. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
“Was wondering where you was my boy,” “Imma miss you broski,” checking in on people constantly. Very attached to @​ET specifically (181 mentions, his top target). Also the guy who posted song lyrics about wanting someone to stay — that man is not just parasocial about the thread, he’s parasocial about life.

6. ET (Rauw alejandro fan)
“Come back Sizzy, you can’t miss the Frank VZ Weeknd tomorrow and also I miss you,” “There’s my papi missed you all day cabron” — posts with genuine longing energy toward specific users. @saveme is her top target at 124 mentions.

7. Sizzy (moonbaby)
Posts “i miss sizzy bruises tell that dork to get back on here immediately” — about herself, using her own alt name in third person — which is a level of parasocial behavior that transcends the category entirely. Also genuinely misses @davey and @nort when they’re gone. 187 mentions of @nort alone.

8. Purrp
“Who queued up Rev 909? I love you,” “Gonna miss you,” “You good b?” — quieter about it but consistently checks in on people. Heavy @Hndrxx_Free and @nort energy.

9. WESLEYS POWER
298 “where are you” posts. Deeply invested in the interpersonal dynamics of the thread, particularly around @op and @YungPapi. The parasocial energy here manifests more as needing the thread’s approval and attention than pure affection.

10. FBG LIIIIT
“I love you <3,” “UwU i love u <3,” “I may never love you — it’s okay, we can’t love everyone, as long as you accept me” — unironically wrote that last one. 31% of all his mentions go to a single person (@Hndrxx_Free). Small poster by volume but extremely concentrated parasocial energy.

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

Nort

6mo

He was meant to be a reoccurring guest judge on Rupauls Drag Race, NOT politics!

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

wey

6mo

Ai equating reciprocal friendship as simping

Like a Camillimane

6mo

pookii... we got work 2 do..

rvi

6mo

theyll never understand us

e t

6mo

Top 10 Simps

Measured by directed compliments, thirst, declarations of love/devotion, and concentration of affection toward specific users — own text only.

1. ICEMAN PAPI DAVE
The thread’s undisputed simp king. “I don’t usually do this unless I’m drunk or I’m high but I’m both right now and I need you in my life — 8am boss” sent directly to ET. “I’m sick cause I love you so much” to back 2 black. “I love you and have missed you, why were you gone, the whole thread was so concerned” to COWBOY ARTIST. The man simps for multiple people simultaneously and has the self-awareness to know it and do it anyway.

2. COWBOY ARTIST
“Would you marry me if I was serious? But it was a sexless marriage — yeah, well, but we could see other people?” directly to ET. “I love you, bmass, even merely as a friend. But should you want something more someday, be sure to hit me up; I’ll surely answer and satisfy your direst needs.” Simps with an unusual amount of eloquence and formality, like a 19th century suitor writing love letters in a forum thread.

3. Nort
“On, I’m yours now — on just as long as we’re together” to Bruises. “I love u just the way u r” to a deleted user. “I need you to not believe a single word this b** says” defending ruckus. Tells people he loves them constantly, calls women “cutie patootie,” and his simp behavior is spread wide across the thread rather than concentrated on one person. Democratic simp.

4. bmass
“I love u cause you’re always right” to Wesley. “Damn ur hot” to Kodak Spice. “The only user who sees the real me — I love you, patito.” “Goodness gracious I love u” to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Simps affectionately and without shame. Very casual about it like it’s just how he talks, which is somehow the most simp energy of all.

5. COWBOY ARTIST (for Kodak Spice specifically)
“Did yk ur easily a goated vz poster and we never want u to leave — nooo way <3 I love you, Spicy.” “I love her verse, her swagger throughout it.” Kodak Spice is his most concentrated simp target with 21 directed simp hits — by far the highest single-target concentration in the thread.

5. Tuneout
Concentrated Kodak Spice simp energy — 7 directed simp hits toward her specifically. “I think you use it in a responsible and normal way, you’re the one that tells me you don’t like how u use it, I think you’re fine.” Very gentle, very nurturing simp style. Also Nort: “Nort I love u and as someone who falls for Bruises’ pranks every single time…” He simps by being unconditionally supportive.

6. xxxkiraxxx
“If I gave u a 10 I would die for u.” “Anything for u kitten my accent might sound crazy ngl” to Like a Camille. “I LOVE U” to John Mauve. “I need you to take a picture with your ass out…” to rvi — which went in a completely different direction. The most chaotic simp in the thread. No consistency in target, no filter in expression.

7. ET
“I JUST WANNA LOVE U EXCUSE ME MISS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY” to Bruises in full caps. “Please sign up I need you” and “I won’t be Dave, I need you” both to ICEMAN PAPI DAVE. Her simping is passionate and theatrical — she commits fully when she does it. Also has people simping back at her constantly which creates a whole ecosystem.

8. back 2 black
“OH MY F***ING GOD GARY I LOVE IT, I love her so much, I love u” to Nort. “I love you lmao” to Allison. “Oh well s*** nvm I love u again — it’s complicated” to TheTheoryIsYou, which is the most honest simp quote in the thread. Simps generously and openly but always with that slight “I know what I’m doing” energy.

9. Sizzy
“Oh will you two shut up and get married already” — said about ET and saveme while herself simping for Nort constantly. Her simp behavior toward Nort is the thread’s most consistent parasocial pairing: 12 directed simp hits, “I need you to believe me,” “Thats top 3 neps for me.” Calling people “ur fine” and “ur amazing” as her default mode.

10. Wesley
“I love you bro I just don’t like your affinity for an opp.” “Ofc I love you” to Sizzy. “You’re pretty mean to me sometimes I’m not gonna lie. But I can appreciate and even respect where you’re coming from” to MIXTAPEHNDRXXFREE — which is the most simp sentence ever written about someone who is mean to you. Simps while pretending he’s being reasonable.

lucid

6mo

i've been summoned