Poopfeast420

12mo

💨 Most Likely to Finish First in a Gay Orgy:

🥇 Hndrxx
• Has posted like someone who thinks he’s built for stamina, but would absolutely get overwhelmed by the sensory chaos and tap out early.
• Would claim he’s “just conserving energy for Round 2,” then vanish into the thread for a few hours.
• The finish would be intense, dramatic, and immediately followed by a Future quote.

⸻

Runner-Up: Artist
• Despite the carefully cultivated sensual mystique, he’d get so emotionally overwhelmed by the aesthetics and the lighting that he’d finish the second someone moaned on beat.
• Would deny it and say “I just vibed too hard.”

Poopfeast420

12mo

Most Likely to Get Arrested Abroad:

🥇 Ghosty (Sizz)
• Zero situational awareness + maximum chaotic energy.
• Would absolutely end up in a yelling match with airport security over aux cord privileges.
• Gets arrested in Tokyo for accidentally starting a mosh pit in a FamilyMart.

⸻

🥈 Camille
• Gets detained for “performance art without a permit.”
• Refuses to speak to authorities in anything but esoteric metaphors and fashion references.
• Ends up trending on local Twitter with “#FreeCamille.”

⸻

🥉 Wesley
• Arrested for climbing a monument to get the perfect gooning selfie.
• Tries to argue constitutional rights in a country with no extradition treaty.
• Somehow becomes a minor folk hero among the locals.

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Perfect Woman for FrenchPress:
• Emotionally unavailable but deeply poetic — she only opens up during long walks in the rain or when tipsy on red wine.
• Thinks every album sounds better on vinyl, especially Björk, Radiohead, and something obscure FrenchPress posted once.
• Has a messy car filled with tote bags, loose books, and one very intentional flower.
• Roasts him effortlessly — never laughs at his jokes, only smirks in judgment.
• Her favorite compliment to give is: “you’re tolerable today.”
• Wears oversized sweaters, smokes occasionally (but stylishly), and owns exactly one knife “for vibes.”
• Probably broke his heart once and he thanked her for the growth.

wey

12mo

Despite the carefully cultivated sensual mystique,

he’d get so emotionally overwhelmed by the aesthetics and the lighting that he’d finish the second someone moaned on beat.

• Would deny it and say “I just vibed too hard.”

BM_

12mo

Platinum medal to kodak spice for inappropriately touching himself in public

BM_

12mo

Platinum medal to kodak spice for inappropriately touching himself in public

wey

12mo

just realized I can read manga and my textbook at the same time

I am winning

Spice Bones

12mo

omfg ask the perfect partner for me

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Perfect Woman for FrenchPress:
• Emotionally unavailable but deeply poetic — she only opens up during long walks in the rain or when tipsy on red wine.
• Thinks every album sounds better on vinyl, especially Björk, Radiohead, and something obscure FrenchPress posted once.
• Has a messy car filled with tote bags, loose books, and one very intentional flower.
• Roasts him effortlessly — never laughs at his jokes, only smirks in judgment.
• Her favorite compliment to give is: “you’re tolerable today.”
• Wears oversized sweaters, smokes occasionally (but stylishly), and owns exactly one knife “for vibes.”
• Probably broke his heart once and he thanked her for the growth.

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Ideal Partner for KodakSpice:
• Hyper-verbal but mysterious — someone who talks in circles, quotes Tumblr-era poetry, and never fully explains anything.
• Challenges him constantly but adores his chaos. Laughs at his most deranged posts like it’s performance art.
• Dresses like an off-duty cult leader: mesh top, track pants, pearls, and beat-up Air Max 97s.
• Has strong online presence energy but disappears for 6 days at a time just to watch Cronenberg movies alone.
• Would 100% gaslight him recreationally — but with love.
• Fluent in both memes and astrology. Can fight. Has a past.
• Isn’t impressed by anything he says… until he accidentally says something profound and then she stares at him like he invented language.
• Probably a Scorpio-Virgo mix, bisexual, with a playlist titled “knife me romantically.”

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Ideal Partner for KodakSpice:
• Hyper-verbal but mysterious — someone who talks in circles, quotes Tumblr-era poetry, and never fully explains anything.
• Challenges him constantly but adores his chaos. Laughs at his most deranged posts like it’s performance art.
• Dresses like an off-duty cult leader: mesh top, track pants, pearls, and beat-up Air Max 97s.
• Has strong online presence energy but disappears for 6 days at a time just to watch Cronenberg movies alone.
• Would 100% gaslight him recreationally — but with love.
• Fluent in both memes and astrology. Can fight. Has a past.
• Isn’t impressed by anything he says… until he accidentally says something profound and then she stares at him like he invented language.
• Probably a Scorpio-Virgo mix, bisexual, with a playlist titled “knife me romantically.”

frenchpress

12mo

Actually no
Too smug
Chatgpt hasn’t pegged me yet

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Ideal Partner for Artist:
• Black. Beautiful. Unbothered.
• Moves through the world like it belongs to her. She’s already 10 steps ahead of your next thought.
• Wears oversized sunglasses indoors. Smells like oud and disrespect.
• Fluent in Erykah Badu, Frank Ocean deep cuts, and dryly dragging white people at brunch.
• Doesn’t post — she gets posted about.
• She doesn’t like the limelight, but Artist brings her up every third page with a casual “my girl said…” and everyone goes silent.
• Spends most of her time silently judging people from across the room.
• Occasionally whispers “mm-hmm” and completely dismantles someone’s worldview.
• Academically intimidating but spiritually chaotic. She’ll send you a Marxist critique of Drake, then kiss you on the forehead and walk away without a word.
• Unimpressed by Artist in a way that keeps him forever chasing her validation.
• She thinks he’s cute when he’s mad, which he pretends to hate but secretly lives for.

@Prince

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Ideal Partner for Artist:
• Black. Beautiful. Unbothered.
• Moves through the world like it belongs to her. She’s already 10 steps ahead of your next thought.
• Wears oversized sunglasses indoors. Smells like oud and disrespect.
• Fluent in Erykah Badu, Frank Ocean deep cuts, and dryly dragging white people at brunch.
• Doesn’t post — she gets posted about.
• She doesn’t like the limelight, but Artist brings her up every third page with a casual “my girl said…” and everyone goes silent.
• Spends most of her time silently judging people from across the room.
• Occasionally whispers “mm-hmm” and completely dismantles someone’s worldview.
• Academically intimidating but spiritually chaotic. She’ll send you a Marxist critique of Drake, then kiss you on the forehead and walk away without a word.
• Unimpressed by Artist in a way that keeps him forever chasing her validation.
• She thinks he’s cute when he’s mad, which he pretends to hate but secretly lives for.

@Prince

BM_

12mo

But your ex work wife has

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Perfect Woman for FrenchPress:
• Emotionally unavailable but deeply poetic — she only opens up during long walks in the rain or when tipsy on red wine.
• Thinks every album sounds better on vinyl, especially Björk, Radiohead, and something obscure FrenchPress posted once.
• Has a messy car filled with tote bags, loose books, and one very intentional flower.
• Roasts him effortlessly — never laughs at his jokes, only smirks in judgment.
• Her favorite compliment to give is: “you’re tolerable today.”
• Wears oversized sweaters, smokes occasionally (but stylishly), and owns exactly one knife “for vibes.”
• Probably broke his heart once and he thanked her for the growth.

EchiRodrigo

12mo

should make another forum f***ery ep

Spice Bones

12mo

ong

BM_

12mo

Can we not swear on gunna? Ty

wey

12mo

do me

Poopfeast420

12mo

The Ideal Partner for Pato:
• Hot, quiet, and smarter than him — but never lets it show.
• She reads theory and watches trash TV. Has a PhD in both Zizek and Real Housewives.
• Deadpan delivery queen. Her most brutal roasts sound like lullabies.
• The only person who can out-lurk Pato. Sometimes she disappears from the convo just to make him uneasy.
• Loves Future, respects Pusha T, and won’t argue about music online — but absolutely has the better taste.
• Wears all black but has a chaotic streak — like one pink Hello Kitty charm hanging from a vape.
• Does not post — but is aware of everything. She’s reading the thread, silently judging, screenshotting for later.
• Occasionally sends Pato voice notes that start with “be serious” and end with “you’re so dumb but I love you.”
• Has beef with one of his internet friends but won’t say who. Pato’s terrified it’s Artist.