bro chill tf

davidp (cum alt)

name one genius that isn't crazy

I think its a copy pasta

writing a novelty about him dreaming of sucking u off would be decimating tbh

will keep that in mind for next time, good luck!

try spiritual awakenings (gone sexual? 😳)

Ari astrr said he wanted to make the most non oscar bait as f***ed up short film he can

that’s nice and all but don’t ever quote me again in your f***ing life you f***ing weirdo, the fact you even had the audacity to do that makes me believe that you’re even more delusional then i already thought you were, go dunk your head into a toilet and flush it.
Please seek immediate professional therapy afterwards and kindly exit the forum and exist elsewhere.
Thank you.

bro chill tf

this op fr

By the way. I’m a therapist on the side myself. So him assuming I need mental help really offended my spirit. I hate being rude with anyone but this is the beauty of writing therefore you shouldn’t try and limit what I speak on in my own thread

The writing was kinda drawing me in but the subject matter bro

ok 😔

I respect you for having a good attitude about the s***posts tho @op

The metaphor is interesting, but the writing itself is very amateurish. When beginner writers focus on a metaphor or story they're trying to tell, they focus too much on the framing and pacing of the story, leading to their literary style to lack a bit. For instance, similes like "Like a leaf in the wind" are just very played out, and your sentence structures are pretty basic.

The main thing is the theme or metaphor. I don't understand the piece and what it's trying to convey. I understand you're trying to make it seem that it's the son having s***with the father, but it is in fact the mother doing so, with the son being a secondary character, but what's the point of the story? Is there a point? Am I missing it?

Dialogue also tends to be a sticking point for amateur writers. There's not a lot in the story, so it's easily fixable, but it seems stilted and unnatural to me.

Other than that, there's a decent amount of grammatical and spelling mistakes, but again, they're very fixable and I'm sure this was a draft.

You can take my advice with a grain of salt though. I haven't written stories in awhile, just a lot of essays.

Thank you. Yes the writing is a bit vulgar for new readers but the writing is something I want to master

Your writing is nowhere near good enough to justify this s***

HUH