Feeling sad again

each day is like a form of torture at this point in one way or another.

Haha thought I was doing fine

Can only pretend for so long before reality puts me in my place again

hatred for myself is very strong today.

Has anyone ever been prescribed antidepressants by a primary care doctor ?

I’m love sick (I don’t think she loves me back), anxious, and so depressed and lonely I’ve completely lost my appetite. Completely

nah not yet at least

I have and can only speak for myself but it made my constant thoughts of wanting to kill myself subside for a few months. I’ve been on them for just a over year now and I’m more numb and apathetic than anything

Damn near every morning I have to wake up and decompress from whatever dream I had about my ex from the previous night.

Maybe it'll stop one day.

It's just a rough way to start the day

When you asked if I could have given the same energy treating you like everyone else and I said yes.. That wasn’t legit.. There was no “August is when I started catching feels”..

It was more like the first time we talked and you had an episode lol I wanted in. I make it sound like it “just happened”.. No I’m sorry, it was 100% intentional lol.

I was intentional with a lot of stuff I did. You had to have known that, you routinely would let me back after blowups.

I routinely post here sad as hell or sometimes just to help process s***. I feel better putting my issues down on paper, helps me idk why.

I felt like once I made it in crypto, I really thought like “yeah, okay this is 100% going to work now” like I really thought the financial piece was the last infinity stone lmaoo.

I thought there’d be some type of switch turned on, where you’d see that like “oh s*** he’s not a scrub”. I never was before at my previous job, but s*** hits different when it’s millions.

It’s why I’d have you look into it sometimes or tried to get you to accept the token id made lol. It was a HUGE source of pride for me.

Mentally I really was at a spot where I wanted to say you no longer had to work if you didnt want to. That was mentally a high point in my life, I really thought I’d secured the future.

I couldn’t have known you were incapable of feeling any type of way back. It wouldn’t have ever gotten to this point. But you didn’t tell me till the very end, and that’s been lasting pain.

You basically wanted the same level of affection without the strings I guess. I take responsibility for it though, the whole escapade was my own fault cause ultimately I pursued, not you.

"I pursued, not you"

I need to keep that in mind for my situation

Nothing fills the void any more

I have major trust issues which idk how to work thru
Therapist aint got a booking for a month ahh

Even though I basically got ghosted, I’m glad you’re alive and not gone. For a stretch of time, I thought you were. None of my issues really matter compared to a life.

Im just one big giant f*** up

I am too

Yeah, they helped subside the negative thoughts. They work

loss of appetite is normal with anti-depressants...I'm on it too

and I feel you on the love sick part.
Even when I'm the one dumping I regret it like a month later and I found the best things that work for me are 1. music healing 2. working on my body 3. picturing all the good things coming my way.

you'll get used to the meds. you'll get your appetite back. you'll fall in love again.

Dont worry fam

do you really wanna read my mind?
I promise all that you will find is a lost soul rich and blind

success and failure are subjective

dont put yourself down like that