Aren’t the two scenarios you sketched fundamentally different though?

In the first the kid’s self-esteem is built on external validation, even in the city when people call him ugly he can still be confident because he knows he always has a group of people back at home where he can get validation from.

In the second that’s not the case, he needs to establish self-esteem totally from within, which seems much more difficult

Yes you’re right - I’m not trying to prove they’re the same
Fundamentally in response to OP: low self esteem isn’t a symptom of misfortune but a symptom of thinking pattern

Put the woman in the first scenario into the second and she grows tougher
But the guy in the first and he grows loving

But they both consider their esteem intact and when they raise towns they can (equally) guide knowing they would like to create the first scenario

The cause of low self esteem then must be the intractable absorption of external community: whether that be city (scenario 1) or town and city (scenario 2)

Hope that makes sense I’m @ the gym so this is the most alert I’ll be all day

Jawn_Hamm creates worst thread ever
asked to leave ktt2

At a minimum low self-esteem is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that you're born with (depression/anxiety of some kind)

At worst, it's the result of compounded emotional mistreatment and repeated misfortune that erodes your sense of self-worth and, eventually, your very self-conception as a living being

It never comes from nowhere. People with healthy upbringings, who get the support they may need if they do have an innate cognitive disorder of some kind, don't end up having battered self-images. People who have been repeatedly s*** on, abused/violated, and/or are suffering from some untreated mental illness do.

And you can eventually develop mental illness and even physical side effects from repeated negative experiences that erode your self-worth. And, of course, if you have a mental illness (or many) and you experience hardships that erode your self-worth, it will also exacerbate your mental problems.

It's a f***ed up situation out there.

Cart before the horse my friend, I mean that with all sincerity and say this as someone who struggled tremendously with really low self-esteem but always fought back against the adversity I faced, and prevailed

That initial lack of belief comes from somewhere, and 99% of the time it's from some kind of negative experience, or history of experiences, that broke your sense of self-worth. The other 1% is for people who are born with some kind of mental illness that compromises their self-esteem from the outset, no matter their situation/support systems (which is actually pretty rare in the grand scheme of things). Most of the time, it's a blend of the two, and it becomes a vicious and maze-like cycle.

Yes, the foundational low self-esteem will just chip away at your future, which further drives down your self-esteem, but it begins with some kind of adverse event or untreated cognitive problem. No healthy person is born with low self-esteem.

We can't realistically expect everybody to have the tenacity to always fight/overcome the obstacles that hold them back in life. In many cases, especially in a society as divided/unequal as the United States and overwhelming majority of the western world itself, you may not even have the basic tools/resources to even attempt to overcome these obstacles. If you're extremely poor or come from a family that is afflicted by generations of trauma due to poverty/marginalization, you just may not even have the base you need to fight back, and you are effectively pulled under by a cruel and hostile society.

Ideally everybody should be able to push themselves to whatever extremes, no matter how unrelenting, to overcome their problems...but that's just not realistic. Everybody has a breaking point, even if the only way they break is through their demise. One way or the other, everybody can only be pushed so far. Some people's nervous systems/minds/spirits are just more battered/sensitive than others, and they lose the will or fortitude to keep getting back in the ring.

My life is ass but i have good self esteem

Jus stop worrying about hoes man

If you're under 6'2 and aren't rich you should transition

Fr.

literally its "just be happy" but with extra steps

True. Though it quickly snowballs and they start feeding each other.

What if the town turned out to be crazy cannibalistic occultists and they ate him because he was the chosen son and then when another child is more handsome than the rest of the town they do it again and the city is actually comprised of like people who have escaped from being eaten by the town cannibals

That last line...fuck

How do you get out of it?

practicing saying no and getting comfortable with it ..feels like ripping a band aid off at first then gets so easy.

that def helped me. i also unlearned smiling all the time. my dad does it. but it just makes u come off as being too formal/fake. now i act nice and respectful but i dont smile ear to ear like i did. u don't want that "what a nice guy!!' sticker stamped on ur forehead cause ppl will take advantage and throw tasks and favors at u