its monday

The b**** perfect, I'm Adam DeVine
But I'm lazy with it, lay her on her side
Every woman looking like my bride
Hit it from the back, I heard that love is blind

It was foretold that my birth would enlighten men
Or I'd breath fire; the translation depend
I'm a f***ing vampire with punctures under my chin
But I don't turn men into me; I turn into them

The skin changer
Shape shift into your biggest hater
Sneak into your crib
And hide out so I can kill you later

Think I might have synesthesia
Your music white as hell, all I see is red in anger
I'm a ghostwriter eliminator
A jobs program for the world's smallest violin players

I'm on your ass like a skip tracer
I'm seizin' assets, and cassettes, and disk players
Take that record out rotation like a disk changer
Till the only airwaves circulatin' is a ventilator

its a bad b**** link up
got more racks than i can think of
bad b****es who be inked up
swallow cum, dont you hiccup
im getting head off the rip bruh
deadass, she getting nut
i want a president who's mentally in touch
no more politics, ive had enough

hit the weed & puff that til i cry
this ass gettin ate, put that ass in her face
nut aim on assassinate, it's asinine
i like a ho from Idaho, i give that ass a 9

New kicks dropped, I sat in line
The latest colorway for Kanye's plastic slides
Racial purity, they only came in black or white
And they spelled nein wrong, I don't think they had my size

Lil bro get outta control and think he second player

grab a bad b**** by her ankles
had a fat b****, she had cankles
all yall hatin, i can see the angle
yall glaze & ride, yall papi's angels
krispy kreme glazing, its unnecessary
if u think she luv u its temporary
need a psycho b**** who wants me dead & buried
emotional pisces ass b****es from february
i'd let a girl beat me if she's hot enough
i love it when she eat me cuz she's not a s***
but for me she gobble up, i gotta f***
thru the window i ollie up
im out this b****, i stole ur ramen uhhh

Seen a sasquatch a camera couldn't capture
At the state park, we shared a Samuel Adams
Said it had become a job where once it was a passion
Skulking around grounds that we had camped in

He got kinda choked up thinking back on summers past
Times that Scoob and Shaggy kicked his ass
Said it was just something in his eye and tried to laugh
Nowadays it's guys in rubber masks

in the short time before the weed is smoked
there's a poor guy lookin for trees of dope
thinking more like for his need for toke
smoke travels down organized, the deep of throat
he will know a thief or ho when he sees the scope
let 'em bleed and go move a key or don't
i skeet on Chloe, she give me a blowie
got the Nina blowing, i will achieve and proceed and go in

Picture this: a cassette player and a faucet,
Kodak Spice running for mayor in a rocket,
ima play her, take her,
i can never save her, savor
Suge Knight my opps like a flipped tape
her lips fake, her t*** fake,
yall aint fart like shiitake
no mistakes, u roll with drake
i roll with dracos, up the pole & bangbros

I emulate the best, entertain the rest, have ‘em integrate the villain phase when they f*** me up depressed,
Sell confessed angst, innovate the next play with shut up platitudes
Levitate on death above, so ya know I f***ing generate “whats up” attitude
Ingrained in pain I kept, remedies never have to use
Enemies on every side I slept, turn to wakes mesmerized by my active fuel
Mess with me, energy gonna need better attributes
Nobody gonna miss when I hit, guess who’s after you?
The book of Matthew, a d*** so big, elephantiasis of this s*** make me wanna act a fool
S*** be so stiff, feel like I got arthritis in-spite of passive blues
Helluva writing, I’m too big for kid s***, get some apple juice
Low key know me lock in mellow as I did with this rapping spew

go out & drink & do coke
hoes shout lets link and smoke
friday its lit ima toke
yak done f***ed on ya broad
back shots, spicy in the twat
bad thots, they hop on top
they slob the cock, it's hard as rock
im droppin sauce, they gobble all
turkey milfs, they drop me off
they slurp me still, they bop bop bop
go BAH! BAH! BAH!
no silencer i fire her my iron burn
like firework,
im pipin her, she got liposuction
freestylin her, thats why im f***in

she got a xxl freshman draft in her p****
draft day, you gettin drafted cuz america p****
world war 3, four w****s on all fours opening up like drawers
open like doors, of course
they from sephora sippin coors
and my aura is really strong
feel the energy from my bong
bih from Tennessee she a mom
kid is my enemy, he an opp
aint tryna wife up a milf
she got miles in her whip
shot her club up, plan B in this b****
smoke weed with this b****
hope there's no disease in this chick
cuz im in my season of rich
no time for feeling a sick
im healing with it,
puffing demons, she guzzling semen
so glad im not her man i could never be him
she a BM, taking no W's
gave her Nein inches on cam first
hitting in her dorm in Frankfurt
thats where ima land first
thick thighs save lives, i call her Hamburg
then i make her blam, squirt!

got cotton mouth that'll knock ya out
take ya tonsils out, get on da ground
what is spice doing? DON'T MAKE YAK SHOUT!
yeah this a robbery,
give me your wallet, keys,
stocks and weed,
give it all to me!
it's a stick up
buddy aint bring his blick bruh
seems he's got s*** luck
cuz bro got his wrist f***ed
thought he had a hiccup
but it was just bullet rip-up
like grrrrt-it-uh

remember when Brian died?
then they brung back his life...
Seth McFarlene kick back & lie...
Clickbait for engagement a bad disguise...

im motivated by worldly possessions
and ive done things to get em im scared of confession
it feels like daily my humanity lessens
and im forgetting my family’s lessons
im in my room but insanity’s where im headed
now im all alone but my future home is fire and brimstone
my flinstones are oxycodones
im at rock bottom
like happiness was a guy and they shot him
and that was five months ago and cops still aint got him

i got so many girls in my dm it’s like a collective
and they all send me message that’s kinda suggestive
i keep it respective because i know they screenshot my message
we both on the same text plan we don’t talk about the next man
jiji let me hit for the free free but now her gyal pri pri won’t be so easy

As setting suns turn to goodnight moons
Give my cat second helpings of her wet and dry food
It's all good- she's getting up there too
So it's getting hard to get down, admire that view

my b**** bad, she spit on the cock
your b**** slow, she s*** on the cock
gimme dat ass, now sit on the cock
she geekin, she lit on the cock
she rizzing, she hit on the cock
movin her tongue to the tip of the cock
her lips on the cock she grippin the cock
it's infinite cock for a b**** & a thot

she think eatin me gon solve her case
she give me face for dollar faces
on holiday, she suck a cock a day
i dominate her economay
nominate for a chocolate cake

All music sucks, aye
You can kick rocks with some chucks aye
You like breakfast, I prefer lunch aye
Smoking Fentanyl while riding my bicycle aye