23 and have suffered with very low self esteem and confidence for as long as I can remember. It’s gotten to its boiling point over the last few months, affecting my work, relationships, and pretty much every part of my life.

I finally decided to start therapy this week. I’ve had two sessions so far. They’ve been difficult, but for the first time I feel like I’m actually starting to understand why I think the way I do, rather than just trying to force myself to “be more confident.”

For anyone who’s been through therapy for low self esteem or deep-rooted confidence issues:

• What do you wish you knew before starting?
• What helped you get the most out of it?
• Did things get worse before they got better?
• How long did it take before you noticed genuine changes?

I’m committed to giving it a real chance, even if it’s uncomfortable. Any advice or experiences would be massively appreciated.

i didn’t go for these specific reasons, i had a few months of therapy early this year for a bunch of stuff

my two take away are to be as honest as possible with yourself and your therapist

and make sure your therapist is telling you what you need to hear. my therapist was great in that she didn’t sugarcoat anything

i haven’t gone in a while bc of some s*** but it helped a lot for the short time i went

i wish you the best

I’m in it for different reasons (OCD/GAD), so my answers may not apply to you/help, but here you go!

What do you wish you knew before starting?

It’s ok to “shop” around for a therapist. If you find one you don’t click with, it’s ok to look for someone else. Took me about 4 different tries to find someone I clicked with. But I was going for OCD, so I needed to find someone who knew specific therapies that treated OCD effectively (DBT)

What helped you get the most out of it?

Doing the work, holding myself accountable to things I was learning in therapy. Listening to the professional. This was hard, because OCD screams at you to do the opposite of what you are supposed to do.

Did things get worse before they got better?

Yes, but always I was in an active mental breakdown when I got seriously into therapy. But things got a lot better after learning certain skills to help with my disorder (OCD). Now, I have far less intense lows, even when I do have a low

How long did it take before you noticed genuine changes?

About 6 months

Don’t be afraid to find a new therapist if you feel the one you have is slacking, don’t let a subpar therapist stop your growth journey

Other than that it’s such a unique experience per person it’s hard to really give advice, just try to be honest but also know your limits, you don’t need to solve all your problems in a session

my friend told me going to a therapist helps, but with what, like you have to go in knowing what u want out of it right

Thank you man really appreciate it. First few sessions I’m finding it hard just because I’ve never had that outlet

I never got much outta psychotherapy cus my problems are not in how i think but rather how i function and how i am designed by god

Like im addicted to d**** but thats not because of how i think its because without d**** im deadass gonna go crazy

Don’t tell them you wanna kys or they can and will have you locked up in a rehab

You get out of it what you put in

I’d say keep a journal running so you can actually reflect on s*** you talk about and your thoughts on it as the weeks progress

Long time fam. Appreciate it

Flirt with them but only so much that you retain plausible deniablility

nah but really you can tell them you have suicidal thoughts but be explicit that it's just ideation and you would never actually do it or you're getting taken away. Now if you really do feel like you're a danger to yourself in the present moment or you might be soon, then obviously tell someone who's capable of getting you help.

Did things get worse before they got better?

Yes - understand that, as long as you’re reflecting on your thoughts/choices/habits truthfully, this is a sign of progress and not a defect. When we focus on aspects of ourselves we don’t like, it’s inherently unpleasant.

But as you reflect, you’ll find you have a renewed clarity around the false assumptions and habitual behavior patterns that undergird how and why things happen the way they do in your life. That clarity will empower you to change

watch the Backrooms movie

23, no wonder you hate on kissland and trilogy

Hope you get the help you need OP. I've been battling social anxiety and depression for what feels like my whole life, have never seen a therapist even though I should. I'm at a much better place now, though I should still get one, but I'm a lil b****

HATE ON KISS LAND AND TRILOGY??? WHEN

I knew I had to go to therapy when a small event changed my whole self perception. Theres something behind that cos aint no way im just that fragile

Proud of you bro

Finding the right therapist can be hard.

listen to chris cornell (soundgarden, temple of the dog, audioslave)

New trilogy vs old trilogy thread is basically a trilogy hate thread because why even. We all know that Trilogy is superior, but doing the comparison is basically for people to make the case as to why Abel had bested his old work with his new release which in turn people start saying s*** like Thursday is trash

And for the longest you had kissland way below on Abel discography until recently

Nah dawg. New clears
Both crazy though

No advice, I started in March after a breakup. It’s been integral to helping me process the breakup and everything that has transpired. Couldn’t imagine going through this without therapy.

It’s helpful in a way for me because I’m not the type of person who just vents or is forthcoming about my problems to friends and family even though I know they would be there for me. Sometimes you just sort of need a more objective voice too.