Its a work in progress, will have it down by the time im actually on stage

Honestly bro where was the joke

Your goal is to make people laugh, but you gotta do it right out the gate

It wasn’t funny. Too political. Politics are not funny.

I knew as soon as you said Freudian the direction, and immediately lost interest

Dumb it down. Make it funny. Make it simple

Just my 2c

You need to cut a lot of fat off this. I was waiting for a punchline.

Wasn’t exactly funny but super clever. I enjoyed it 🤷🏼‍♂️

That was more like a school shooter manifesto than a comedy bit brother

Appreciate the advice, gunna go back to the drawing boards after all the feedback

Wasn't really funny but I didn't turn it off. I think for comedy material, you're gonna have to work out your routine the old fashioned way with open mics and just see what lands, but from what I've heard, it's quite dense without a lot of set up or any real solid punchlines to make out. Beginning with the Freudian stuff like that might work against you. Also might help to relate your anecdotes to yourself or your everyday situations to ease your audience into your routine. Keep going tho

I encourage you to finish it, its actually kind of low-brow if you catch the references

Takes a lot of f***in guts to get up there. I could never

Just my advice

“You guys know how to do the most with the least effort”

Right after you say this, from here on its story time and you tell a couple stories about instances where this happened

After that, you could just go in the direction of telling the inverse side as a man, there’s another joke that’s wide open as well if you are bold

Just make it all funny. It’s comedy not a sales pitch

Please share the wide open joke haha could use the material

you need to insert some fake laughs so we know where the punchlines are

Fam the joke is right there, you can figure it out

Why would you give this site an image of yourself man

Oh boy.

I absolutely loved it! This is my kind of humor. Keep on going.

I didn’t pick up anything funny here

you look like pablo escobar

Just to let you know, letting people know a joke is coming kills the joke itself as well

So it going to be an already tougher crowd itt than they would normally

But there are some good suggestions in here

Main thing is practice and always keep creating/thinking jokes and scenarios

Comedy is not easy nor fast, it literally takes 8 to 10 years on average to pop - compare that to like music that takes about 4

You have to keep at it and do it irl in front of others - but it will be a slow burn

you should try it man, there's something in here but it needs to be refined more with more clear set ups/punchlines

ion like the harping on women part tbh

ad pauses between ur jokes

nigga tryna do stand up

what he need to do is sit down

oh gurl…

Lose the s*** about f***ing Al Pacino