Lover - generally focus on chemistry, intimacy/forplay/emotional electricity

Mate/partner - focus on stability, building an actual life, following routine, having a
rigid structure in place; ultimately to raise a family together

I’m a certified lover boy ngl no baby mommas -child support thank god

But lately I been thinking long term commitment more appealing these days, ngl rise of hypergamy also plays with my outlook nowadays… b****es wylin crazy high expectations markets cooked

Neither

lover.

tryna build a stable life in 2026 with all these immature women is a fools task. not saying I don't believe in love and believe there are women out there worthy to be a wife/life partner but I grew up around a lot of immature women, so I've seen a lot of the dark sides.

a lot of men misunderstand women, but it happens just as much vice versa. it's impossible to build with a woman who doesn't understand / respect the things that men go through

I find it a lot of the time men who wear the title of mate / partner on their sleeve and choose to look down on men who have game / access to many women are just unconfident and insecure with the idea that they may have settled too early or were too afraid to keep looking

I feel like personally im way too introspective/emotionally dissociated to be either. If im lucky i might slide a hoe but no relationship for me tbh

Took many years to realize this about myself. Theres nothing wrong with not engaging in sexual stuff. If i have to compromise who i am for sum p**** i rather jus stay alone

Ideally I’d wanna be with a sweetheart honey that I could travel world with no kids type vibe just working on our romance and witness how our love blossoms, then if the moment calls for it and I can tell she the one we can bring kids into the picture.. don’t see the point in tying the knot if the love pure without this obligation

Tell me about it s*** is like competing with hundred different dudes simultaneously, being average isn’t enough these days gotta work on getting one of these money/status/looks maxed out to be even considered my nigga I ain’t even wanna play the game no more just wanna settle ong

lover, but pre strokes i used to have an anxious attachment style, but since then it’s not anymore it’s secure now thankfully

#lover

But if we don’t lock in soon we gon have to settle for being a partner tbh

Gonna have to just say f*** it and be a step daddy and love who loves you

Lord help us

the former but in the process of becoming the latter

To your second point it’s hard to quantify.. if people do choose to settle for external reasons rather than strictly for a deep unconditional love I can see them being subjected to some cognitive dissonance but then again these same people inevitably cheat or break off

my rationalization is seeing the current market trends and making a prudent choice based on this climate + getting older making me feel I need a sweetheart honey type to add more vitality to a life of uncertainty and chaos

as sad as it is sometimes love just isnt enough if you might not be the best spouse or parent

Like a philosopher type I feel you

To me adding a honey into your life can bring some unexpected sweetness into a life of aloofness, like some days you’d be pleasantly surprised at the nature of a woman’s warmth/touch

Locking in doesn’t mean settling here?

Yeaaaaaaa

Dawg you never know until you put yourself in that position, and honestly I think underestimating yourself gives you an edge in a weird way I think you’d make a great dad/hubby

Type

Lock in meaning get out of the game and being happy if what you want is a healthy long term monogamous relationship

Cause eventually a lot of people grow older and have to sacrifice the little things like chemistry for stability

thank you dear

i’ve been cornered in the past about being a great lover and the essentials of that but i’ve had alot of eye opening conversations that questioned if i would be reliable for my partner and kids in multiple scenarios. i do believe it’s important to be a hero as a father and i believe it’s important to be your lady’s safety

Ahh yes bro that’s my ideal type of love too

It’s like the best of both worlds not having no fkn government coming between your love, it’s like pure freedom and trust in your partner s*** won’t go astray, always ten toes down for you even if s*** hits the fan

Word dawg we can be so overly critical of ourselves due to societal pressures, familial expectations, and the rollercoaster that is life

Truth is I don’t think anyone is ready to raise a kid amidst a world of constant noise and political/economical restlessness feel like the world just always been like this

Doubt and uncertainty is all too normal feelings but we place the hope in the future generations on our progeny that they can make the world or even just our worlds a sliver better than it is

it just comes down to conviction and systematic affirmation that you are ready for that stage of your life and that genuinely will change your outlook, you can’t force it but you’ll know once that feeling comes to the surface, it transcends fears and doubt into courage and positive affirmation

Young nigga PREACH!

is it ok that I relate to mate/partner up until the children part?

im also a h**** mf that is a "pleaser" meaning id probably do anything if someone says it turns them on

Ong that’s the ideal happy medium but I eventually will want kids down the line when you know unconditional loving chemicals inevitably takes over my source of being and I’m essentially the ultimate simp for her but obviously I would try to conceal this feeling the best I can lol kings literally burn topple whole empires because of a b**** they madly in love with no f***s given

Yes you definitely have the makings of a lover boy simp-mate hybrid

Gotta learn how to cope with these tendencies throughout the course of the perpetual chemical reaction you’ll have day n out what true unconditional love expects from you, honestly though u eould released these pent up energies when you getting freaky with her in the sheets