“We’ve updated battery life”

“We’ve added vibration”

come on where is the actual innovation?

Apple Watch now tells you when you can creampie safely

DUDE WOMEN LMAO

we back

Already spent hundreds in my fantasy league fees this week alone and next week I gotta come out them pockets for these preorders

My wallet can’t catch a break

Crash Detection

Thanks

just want glucose monitoring already

"Apple Watch can also be used as a vibrator now"

My gf crashed her car 2 years ago from just seeing a "dust bunny" inn the road. Crashed into the barrier and totaled her car

dumbass

Read something about how apple makes their marketing a little goofy/lame to avoid people seeing them as the aggressive multi trillion dollar corporation they are

Periods? Car crash detection to poor driving?

When’s the features that are for men

Car crash feature

Also for women

imagine u getting f***ed hard n the watch thinks u in a car crash

Need that feature to refractory periods

Mine says four hours but I feel like I use it way more than that

Wheres Nut Tracking

Long time Chinese Apple leakers have stated apple is considering letting men wrap the band around their p**** tightly to activate continuous vibration.

Holdup this event really boutta be a full 2 hours?

Semen retention app

18 hours isnt all day?

smh i should sue apple for that s***