Real

u mushed sacrament and matrimony into one word

sanctimony means something else lol

Gotta wake up by 9am or so?

Lirl

(tbf to dan it don't take that long to know if she got a bra on or not)

He said Thursday theyll f***

Toot toot

Inspirational

Hope he makes Dan Jr

F*** why do I know dans s***schedule man I hate my life

but why did he have to tell his wife

Someone did that with cone and itch yesterday to make coneitchwa

Had me rolling

It’s funny asf he brought it up to Shirley lol

you brought this on yourself by asking

because he wanted to parlay it into a threesome

Idk I can't speak for that lmfao

crying

can you do it with deed and in

“Your friend has small t*** what’s up with that”

Dan always kills me 😭😭

I made a joke about him not getting laid today and he told me Thursday morning lmfao

Kinda hungry but can’t even eat

What’s f***ed up is she was coming to his house after an eating disorder

Dan a demon?